Phew! That’s a mouthful

This week’s blog assignment was very interesting, “Find or write the longest sentence you can and use the Paramedic Method to condense it.” During my research, I enjoyed looking up the ridiculously long sentences via the Internet. While trying to find the perfect example I kept coming back to my World Religion textbook. (Living Religions) This book has many examples of long sentences not necessary to conveying the meaning. It can be very hard to understand. I chose a sentence directly out of last week’s religion assignment to use for my blog example. It originally was thirty words long and I trimmed it down to ten. If I read both sentences side by side the meaning I take away would be the same.

30 word example: “Although the majority of Indians who are religious continue to follow the Hindu paths, Mother India has given birth to several other religions which are not based on the Vedas.”

My 10 word recreation: “Religious, Indian majority practice Hinduism versus non-based, splinter religions.”

Taking out all non-essential prepositional phrases and using concise phrases makes for a much easier read. Also taking out all verbs such as “is”, “are”, and “was” and inserting the action verbs makes for a more descriptive sentence. What do you Think?

Works Cited

Fisher, Mary Pat, 1943- 

Living Religions/Mary Pat Fisher; consultants, Joseph Adler

8th edition p. cm.